There are so many great posts out there about experiences moms face when being judged by strangers when out in public with their kids. We are constantly judged when our baby is screaming on the plane or our 3-year-old is having a meltdown in the grocery store. Moms are almost always the ones that are deemed responsible for their child’s behavior, whether they can control it or not. It’s unfortunate that we get that kind of criticism thrown our way when we are struggling to do our best.
But I am here to write about being on the other side of the judging experience.
Yes, today I judged another mom unfairly and I didn’t feel good about it.
My husband and I had just put down our 11-month-old twins for their morning nap, and I was looking forward to going to the car mechanic to get my oil changed (while my husband stayed home) and spend some “me time” in the lobby to catch up on some reading (SO exciting, right?)
After I handed over my keys to the mechanic and helped myself to some complimentary Keurig coffee, I was in “Mommy Heaven.”
As I was about to sit down, I noticed another mother (who was not as fortunate as I was at this moment) was also in the lobby with her toddler. Her little boy was adorable and I smiled at and greeted him as he came stumbling over to me to see what kind of contraption I was using to make a simple cup of coffee, his eyes wide with toddler curiosity. I quickly went on about my own business as the little boy went back to his mommy.
But as you probably expected, the encounter with the toddler didn’t end there. After I took a seat, the little guy came right up to me and started tugging at my sweatshirt.
The understanding mom that I thought I was, quickly turned into “Judgy Judy.” Appearing embarrassed and apologetic, the mom quickly got up and whisked her son away and went outside with him.
Immediately, I felt really, really bad. After all, this mom was just trying to get her car worked on like I was, only she didn’t have childcare like I had. No mother wakes up and says, “I think I’m going to take my 2-year-old to the dealership with me today!”
Even though I am a mother myself, why did I blame the mom who was only doing her best (and with a toddler, no less?) Shouldn’t I have been more understanding? Aren’t us moms supposed to stick together?
My twins will be doing the exact same thing when they become toddlers, like the little boy. And I don’t blame you if you are reading this and thinking, “Just wait until your kids start walking, lady!” Pardon me while I stumble off my high horse.
So, to the mother I unfairly judged, I am so, so sorry.
I anticipate that there will be a sequel to this post once my kids start walking… so stay tuned…