As you read this, please keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different and some people struggle for years longer than others. This is not meant to be insensitive, this is merely one mama’s experience with infertility.
We’ve all felt it when we see another baby or a pregnant mama in the aisles at Target.
We think, awwwww, let’s do it. Let’s just have one more.
But it’s not always that easy, is it? We spend years of our lives doing everything we can to not get pregnant and then when we really want to or feel ready….why isn’t it just happening?
We go off the pill, have the IUD taken out, we follow the gray charts, we use the ovulation systems, our doctor tells us everything checks out….then where is the new baby? If we are happy and healthy and doing everything right why aren’t we pregnant? And why especially does it seem like everyone else is? It’s not an easy path and we have lots questions, self-blame and guilt as to what we are doing wrong. Will the gap in ages of our kids and future kids be too long? Will we ever be able to get pregnant again? Should we look into adoption now? Is there something the doctor missed?
How do we respond to parents, siblings, friends, they all ask; “when are you going to give your little one a sibling”, “he must be so bored just playing alone”, “why aren’t you pregnant yet”.
Here are some ways that I have found are helpful when coping with the journey of infertility.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Identify and share them.
- Gather information, educate yourself and continue to gain knowledge in infertility.
- Allow your spouse/partner to process differently than you. And work together.
- Don’t blame yourself.
- Take care of yourself.
There are TONS of books, information from specialists and websites on this topic. These are just my tips and how they have helped my family.